Today I was flipping through channels looking for some non-shitty shows. I wasn't very successful. I came across some shitty reality show called "Wife Swap." Two families switch moms and rules. How fucking stupid. Put people in different environments and see how they react. Boring. It's like that shitty show "30 Days." The families were shit (not to be confused with the term "the shit," that teenaged "gangsta's" love to use so much). Just a bunch of stupid pussies who have to resort to a shitty reality show to see how retarded their lifestyles are. One family was full of fat, lazy slobs, and the other family was a bunch of mindless, healthfreak jocks.      One mom was some stupid hippy who made the family sit in some shitty "family circle" to talk about their feelings (unless they actually happen to be REAL feelings such as, God forbid, NEGATIVE ones). The whole time she kept bitching about how intimidating the other family is and how nobody pays attention to her feelings. She kept complaining about how her life is miserable because of societies view of beauty and how it doesn't concentrate on inner beauty. Sorry fatass, not only are you unattractive, you're a fucking moron. They don't sell personality dances for a reason. The jocks went bike riding and the fat mom kept crying and moaning and bitching. OHHH GOD FORBID I HAVE TO GET OFF MY FAT ASS AND APPLY MYSELF. The other mom was an anal retentive prick who couldn't help but bitch when she didn't get her veggies. The stupid jock had nothing else to do with her self-righteous attitude, than to try and force her shitty, tofu, acorn, and cheese diet... or whatever the hell it is that herbivorous jocks eat. Oh right, she wanted them to eat oatmeal. Oatmeal sucks. OH GOD FORBID I STOP PUSHING MY SHITTY HEALTH AGENDA WHEN IT DOESN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Stupid. Annoying. Useless. Both moms were pussies.      The jock kids pissed me off. WAH, THIS NEW MOM WON'T LET ME PLAY BASEBALL OR BASKETBALL! Boo-fucking-hoo. Basketball and baseball suck anyway. Get a new hobby you fucking jocks. The lardass kids... I hated them (still do). Complaining and moaning about having to get up early, and a life without their microwavable chocolate covered lard. "I don't want to get up early! I'll lock my door at night! You can't control me! This is insulting!" Insulting? Tough shit. You're a fucking kid. Do what you're told, or get thrown out for being an ungrateful piece of shit (after getting your ass kicked). Go live in your mansion since you're so successful (you being a kid and all). If it wasn't for the muscle mom being a total vegan pussy, she'd be the perfect candidate for kicking the the shit out of that kid. Here's an idea- Stop your preachy bullcrap and smack that fat turd to hell three times over. Who cares what they think? They're fucking kids! THEY DON'T HAVE A SAY IN THE MATTER! Kids aren't people, and don't have rights. They're just like animals so hit them until they learn to behave. Your parents beating your ass? Too bad.       The dads were pussies too. The fatass father didn't "want to come home and be the discipliner." Another pussy. Get off your ass and beat the shit out of them! It's your job to show them right from wrong, the only way kids understand- wanton violence. Let them know that when they fuck up and disobey you, that it's your obligation as a parent to make their existence a living hell. The strongman dad started crying when he wasn't allowed to do the dishes. What a wuss. Who the fuck cries when they can't clean dishes? Maybe the reason these kids are such pussies, is because their parents are. What the hell is wrong with people?      Then at the end, the two fat parents were hugging or something... It was like watching two elephants hump. I hate this show. The parents are fucking retards, the kids are stupid shits, and it's not entertaining at all. This show blows. "Oh but it's cool! They're really just trying to show families how to live differently!" TOUGH SHIT. If you need a fucking television show to teach you how to live your life, then you don't deserve to be living. "But they learn how to have better lives by accepting different lifestyles!" And? Who cares? The point is that THEY'RE ALL WRONG. They were all fucking retards in the beginning, and they still are. The Fatasses were pussies and still are. The Tightasses were pussies and still are. No matter which traits you take from each family you'll always get a bunch a big wet pussies. Yes, they get rid of some retarded traits. Then what? They live a happy life with their other shitty habits? Shouldn't the point of the show be to eliminate all of their retarded quarks and undo their pussyness? Fuck "Wife Swap," and fuck you if you like this show.